I have been writing periodically for this blog since Nov 2007. Mostly I try to share my expressions of Krishna Consciousness either directly or indirectly by quoting scriptures or previous spiritual masters.
Sometime, I reveal my inner thoughts just plainly without much philosophy. I say rarely because I want to keep the blog about Krishna and helping people understand the wonderful treasure that is in understanding Krishna and His mutlivarious representations in the form of philosophy, music, science etc.
But today, I would like to share my own personal journey with a very special person. That is H.H.Radhanath Swami Maharaj.
You see even before I got introduced to Krishna Consciousness "accidently" back in the late 90s, I had strong intuition on a higher power. A power beyond our own analytical brains. I also had an intuition, rather strongly, that I cannot access that power in my current way of living. In other words, I knew strongly that my way of living and thinking strongly hindered with connecting to a higher reality. But, the arrogant person that I was, I thought to myself, why do I ever need such a connection at all? You see, I did not deny the higher power (like an atheist). I acknowledged the power but just plain arrogant and lazy to see any practical revelance to my day to day life and hence had no real need to connect or know.
One thing intuitively ringed strongly in my head since childhood was that "A Truth" can solve our mundane problems, every single individual if he or she practiced the "truth", in my opinion, can live a happier life and closer to a higher power or what we call God. But to me that "truth" seemed all too impractical and elusive.
Then, after getting introduced to Krishna by the infinite mercy of Srila Prabhupada, I realzed a reality which descended from a different dimension. A dimension that has no limitations. Merely experiencing this endless probabilities in the form spiritual knowledge gave me the chills. Imagine we go to school to study subjects that have knowledge pertaining to limitless happiness and love for one another. Something like going to Disney World but only to enjoy the rides endlessly without getting bored or hackneyed but rather the pleasure increases. I saw this possibility of unending happiness by studying Srila Prabhupada's description of a sweet and loving God we call Krishna. Then, I contrasted this ideology with the ideology we live in the 21st century. Surely, to my novice brain, it was like day and night. Without second thoughts, I knew this is what I want - Krishna through Prabhupada.
Yet, in this grand beauty called Krishna, I had this old yearning although sub-conscious to find out this man who is working on the self cleaning within rather than without. No doubt, Srila Prabhupada filled that void, however, Srila Prabhupada to me was a larger than life figure that only he can occupy. I was inspired by the sheer fearlessness, tact and shyness of this great personality whom all lovingly call as Srila Prabhupada. I wanted to be in the shadow of Prabhupada but at the same time see others also relating to Krishna in their own quaint ways.
I guess I wanted a father figure to show me how it is done practically but at the same time appealing to the inner most sanctums of my heart. Honestly, I was afraid there is no such leperchaun character that can fill that void in the deep recesses of my heart. But I was convinced Krishna is much more deeper relative to my "shallow" heart. So I hoped that someday I will meet my mystery man who will guide me the way I want to be guided. This I say not with arrogance but like a small child who wants his father to say the right things at the right time just to show that it is the father who perfectly understands the child. I guess I wanted a perfect father to help me in my fledgling faith to practically guide me among my many insecruities and deviations. While I feel and realize that Srila Prabhupada fills that void in a grandfather type way, still, for me to continue this rather introspective journey, I was hoping to be inspired by a living character that only he dare occupies.
I know people argue that Srila Prabhupada lives forever. I also agree but still for me I believe that the torch of dharma is continuous and the torch of dharma should be carried on by faithful followers of faithful heroes. Srila Prabhupada was that faithful hero and for me H.H.Radhanath Swami was the faithful torch bearer to continue this torch of dharma. Like Srila Prabhupada, he is no less heroic. In his own sweet ways enchants my heart with his steadfast and uncompromising mannerism of Krishna. To me, he represented the ideal saying "strong as the thunderbolt, soft as the rose". His determination, will power and steadfastness is the story of Greek legends. How he single handedly crossed oceans just to know the truth is one for the fairy tales. Keep in mind, I did not know any of these stories till later. It is his soothing voice, precise wording, and compassionate tone that I know and set my heart as H.H.Radhanath Swami.
My connection with him was established by the grace of my wife and continued through the sound waves of his Krishna narrations. For him Krishna was not a poster figure. Krishna was real and alive. His narrations of establishing the truth striked my heart in such a way that it revealed my own deceptions. I was happy to have exposed my own deceptions!!
"A Truth" I somehow intuitively knew to be the truth since my early childhood, the truth I found no one posessing when growing up, the truth I thought was downplayed by modern day scholars and philosopers and academicians, the truth I thought no one (even the self proclaimed Godmen) cared about, that same truth which apparently the whole world rejected and forcibly threw away, that truth which I thought was a necessity & panacea for world problems but seemingly impractical and elusive was repeatedly exclaimed again and again and again by H.H.Radhanath Swami as the ultimate pinnacle of spiritual wisdom. He quelled my fears and doubts that it is indeed the panacea for world problems but at the same time practical and doable. His conviction convinced me. His position, realization and the essence on this matter revealed to me his inner mood towards his guru and Krishna. I was attracted to this inner mood!
The truth which I intuitively knew and galdly confirmed by H.H.Radhanath Swami as the pinncale of spiritual wisdom is HUMILITY. God cannot be accessed through any other medium but humility. Krishna is attracted by one opulence and that is humility of heart. H.H.Radhanath Swami among many of his godbrothers narrates all teachings, I think, through this core subject of humility. This is not simply a subjective conclusion from a mundane mind. It is the essence of Bhakti. This is confirmed by Lord Chaitanya Mahaprabhu Himself in his famed Sikshastaka prayer.
trinad api sunicena
taror api sahishnuna
amanina manadena
kirtaniyah sada harihi
One should chant the holy name of the Lord in a humble state of mind, thinking oneself lower than the straw in the street; one should be more tolerant than a tree, devoid of all sense of false prestige, and should be ready to offer all respect to others. In such a state of mind one can chant the holy name of the Lord constantly.
In order for us to constantly chant the Holy Names of God and engage in unalloyed bhakti, we must understand and realize our humble position. To me, this is the answer to all problems of life - Humility. This I knew intuitively to be the truth since childhood.
H.H.Radhanath Swami not only spoke about humility constantly but lived it. This was evident from the many stories I have heard through the internet and corroborated through other sources. The way he deals with his own struggles emulates the ideal character of a Vaishnava. Yes, there are envious people on this planet, but how to deal with them is another thing. H.H.Radhanath Swami perfectly fits the description and characteristics of a self-realized soul as enunciated by Krishna to Arjuna in Bhagavad Gita.
This determination of character among all odds and humility of heart overwhelmed me to seek his blessings in my own spiritual journey. What more better way is there than to be his disciple and train under his tutilage on the art of determination and humility. By the mercy of my wife to whom I am forever indebted as she is the reason I got introduced to Guru Maharaj and by the mercy of my Godbrothers, and by the inconcievable plan of Krishna, I have had the opportunity to become his disciple.
Although, I have met him once or twice with combined time of 60 secs, I pray to Krishna to give me the desire to be the disciple he wants everyone to be. My experience with H.H.Radhanath Swami is purely through sound than physical. Yet, he attracts my heart and mind to do the right thing inspite of the multitude temptations around me.
His purity, determination of character, enthusiasm to spread the Holy Name, humility of heart, loyalty to his guru and the expressions of Krishna inspires me, moves me and gives me the impetus to carry on my own internal struggle and ultimately to connect with Krishna in a real personal way.
Guru Maharaj, you are a special soul sent by the higher power which I now know as Krishna to show us what it really means to be the "servant of the servant" - Thank you for accepting me. I am forever indebted to your grateful heart.
Hare Krishna
