Wednesday, August 20, 2014
An offering to His Divine Grace
Dear Srila Prabhupada
Please accept my humble obeisance. All glories unto your divine Lotus Feet.
Every year on this day of your auspicious appearance, devotees around the world meditate and thank you for the sacrifice you performed for the sake of the lost souls seeking pleasure in this world. If you did not take the pains to travel to the West, preach tirelessly, write volumes of books, build temples, conduct festivals, and give personal instructions to your disciples, today, we would not have the luxury of a global Vaishnava community who are connected with one another either in person or virtually – Thank you very much!
I am happy that I am still chanting, reading and doing some service trying to please you. When I got introduced to Krishna Consciousness, I was doubtful if this is just a phase in my life. I was doubtful if my attachment to you and your words was simply a passing cloud. After all these years, I am happy that I am still chanting implying that perhaps it is not a phase and perhaps it may be something substantial. Having said that, I am still in a phase in my Krishna Consciousness where I ebb and flow with the highs and lows of my life. It is my desire that I am steady in my Krishna consciousness regardless of these high and low points. I submit unto you please accept my services though it may be of idiosyncratic nature.
Pride and anger are two pillars leading to the nether worlds. As long as one harbors such feelings it is not possible to understand sublime truths. In Chaitanya Charitamrta (Adi 1.55), you say that “The development of submissiveness is the cause of proportionate spiritual realization, by which one can ultimately meet the Supreme Lord in person, as a man meets another man face to face”. Living in a place where devotee association is few and far between can promote independence and not submissiveness. Independence is a breeding ground for pride leading to anger. Dear Prabhupada, please always guide me from within and through your books to tolerate the urges of my mind which I sometimes feel is my worst enemy. In the past year, there were many incidences which I could have averted despite outside provocation but because of inherent pride, I became angry and engaged in combative behavior. This, you have said, is on the bodily platform. Going forward, I pray unto you to give me the strength to overcome this elephant like disease of competitive pride and anger.
In the past year, I have tried my best in my capacity to share the word of Krishna to others. I have tried my best to be more introspective with respect to my own sadhana. Going forward, given my limitations, I want to continue to share and introspect. By giving I receive. I hope you were pleased with whatever little sharing and introspection I did in the past year. Please bless me in my attempt to share and introspect more as I get older.
I cannot say this enough and perhaps I will say this till the sun burns out. Without you and your divine instructions, I would be like a ship without a rudder lost in the vast ocean with timingila like fishes ready to gobble me up. It was by your mercy, and blessings I was able to steer this lost ship in a direction where there is hope and freedom. Hope towards an ageless life and freedom from the miseries of life. It does not stop there- you have given us a road map where beyond hope and freedom, we reach the shores of service and bliss – service towards the Supreme Being who is blackish blue in complexion like the rain cloud with lotus like eyes, reddish lips and curly hair. By serving Him unconditionally, one regains His original position of blissful self. What more can we ask for?
Thank you Prabhupada for not only picking me up from the quagmire of this world but also teaching me to clean my act and march towards that Supreme Being. For this I am forever indebted. A debt I can never pay back!
On this divine appearance day of yours, please accept my prostrated dandavats at your divine lotus feet.
Your servant aspiring to be insignificant
Ananda Jagannath Das